When The Dust Cleared
by ThePriceIsMeg
Summary: My followup to the Season 3 finale where Jane comes to her senses and lets go of Casey.


**So that I can be in peace until Season 4, here is what I'm going to believe happens the day after the Season 3 finale. I wanted this to be as canon as possible, so no Rizzles. Or maybe more accurately, no more Rizzles than is canon. :)**

* * *

"You're going to talk to him again?" Maura asked, trying to keep her face neutral.

She didn't want Casey to risk the surgery either, but trying to talk him out of it one more time would be pushing it. However she knew better than to say that outright - it wasn't as if Jane would simply drop the topic she'd been stuck on all morning. Or all the last two weeks, more like it.

"He's probably going to wind up a quadriplegic, or dead, so yeah, I feel the need to try again. I can live with annoying him if it keeps him living." Jane said, fidgeting with an old receipt she'd found in her pocket, crumpling it endlessly in one hand.

"I know, but it _is_ up to him," she reminded gently. "Personally I think it's a mistake, but it's his life, and he has to do what he wants with it. From what you've told me, it sounds like his decision is final."

Jane leaned back in her chair with a sigh.

"I think he might be having the surgery because of me. He told me he can't live if he can't... y'know, with me."

"Have intercourse?"

"Ugh, c'mon, why do you have to call it-" Jane grimaced.

"With you, specifically?"

"That's what he said. And that he can't have kids."

"You've discussed children?" Maura looked up, surprised. "I thought I've heard you say that you don't ever want children."

"I- no, that's just something he said." She shrugged, pushing her balled-up receipt back and forth on the tabletop.

Maura sighed, confused. This was Jane Rizzoli, one of the most waspish characters she'd ever known. The one who took crap from _no one_, the one who held grudges, the one who would already be in someone's face before Maura even realized there was a problem. And here she was, working hard at this confusing relationship, acting unusually passive, letting herself be treated in ways she'd never allow normally, letting _major_ things slide? It defied explanation.

"Can I be completely honest?"

"Aren't you always?"

"If Casey expects to have a relationship with you, I don't think the way he's treating you is okay."

"This is... I dunno Maura, this is real life, it's not always a romance novel," Jane shrugged. "I don't know how I'd be acting if it were me."

"I'm not talking about romance, I'm just talking about you being treated decently. Don't you think it's funny? If he's having this surgery for you, but then he won't let you be a part of the process or the recovery at all? He wouldn't even have dinner with you lately, but apparently wants _children_ with you at some point, whether you expressed an interest or not?"

"Because he's not ready for us to really be in a relationship... and it's not like he's pickin' out baby names, Maura, I don't even know if that's what he meant. He said _he_ couldn't, not _we_ couldn't."

"If he's talking about intercourse with _you_, then whose children does that suggest he's referring to? I don't think I have to explain to you how those topics are related."

"Yeah, I think I remember that from 8th grade health class," she answered shortly.

"It just seems like he's sending some very mixed signals, and I'm surprised that you aren't bothered. _Everything_ bothers you... one time I saw you forcibly escort a complete stranger out of the Dirty Robber because you saw him eating a candy bar 'the wrong way'-"

"You _do not_ bite into a friggin' Kit Kat all in one piece," Jane hissed, the memory evidently still freshly appalling.

"See?" Maura pointed. "I feel like if Casey was someone in _my_ life, you wouldn't approve."

"What, you need my approval for your relationships?"

"You... have been known to bring it to my attention when you don't," Maura said with a careful smile, hoping Jane would take it with humor, but she wasn't sure whether it worked. "Your approval is important to me, I'd certainly rather have it than not."

"That's funny, you don't always seem so eager to act on my _lack_ of approval..."

"Well, ever since the last suitor you disapproved of tried to murder me, I've been open to the idea of trusting your instincts a little more," she said brightly.

Jane couldn't think of a response quickly enough, so Maura continued.

"Casey is a veteran, and the work he's been doing is valuable, and it's taken him plenty of strength to get as far as he has - I respect him for all of that. I really do. And I care what happens to him. But I care a lot more what happens to you. You should have someone who builds you up and brings out the best in you. Even if it's not his intention, all I've seen Casey do is tear you down, distract you and hurt you."

"Look, I get that most of what you've seen of him hasn't been his best side, but don't try to tell me he's a bad guy when you don't even know him. I've known him since high school."

"No, I don't know him - but I know you, and I trust that you wouldn't like him if he weren't a good person. But I do think he's bad _for you_. You're very loyal, Jane, and that's wonderful, but I'm worried that you're so caught up in loyalty that you aren't even thinking about whether this is really what you want."

"What I- ? It's not like I'm about to walk down the aisle, Maura, why are you making such a big deal?"

"Because I want you to be happy. It seems like ever since Casey came back, you've only been unhappy."

"Well, I don't think you'd be skipping down the street either, if someone you cared about was gambling with their life, gonna wind up dead, or a vegetable. And gambling kind of _because_ of you."

"You're right, I wouldn't, and I'm totally with you about the surgery. But that's only part of it. I think he's also breaking your heart, and you're letting him. Being a friend, being sympathetic, being there to help him, I can understand all of that, that's great to be supportive - but that you'd still want a relationship with him, after the way he's treating you? It just doesn't seem like you."

"I think I know what's _like me_. He's going through some pretty rough stuff, if you hadn't noticed, I feel like I ought to cut him a little slack, don'tcha think?"

"But it seems like such a big jump you made all of a sudden, and you're wanting to show him this massive level of commitment, and the only thing I'm aware of that could have caused that was this injury. I think maybe you're cutting him so much slack out of sympathy, that you're keeping a relationship going that never would be otherwise. He lied to you for months. Tell me, honestly, if he were in perfect health, would you have let it slide that he lied about being back in Boston, and lied about his feelings for you?"

"No, but he lied because-"

"Just listen - I'm afraid you're thinking that you should stick with him _despite_ his injury, when it really might be _because of_ his injury. I know you'd never leave someone just for being disabled, but to stay with them just because of it, is about as bad. I'm no stranger to this, Jane. I've developed feelings for sick and injured men before, because there really is this Florence Nightingale effect you can get caught up in when you want to take care of someone. You have to keep an eye on your feelings. If I can give you that advice, just please, take a good look at your own feelings, make sure you really feel the way you think you do. There's so much more at play here than in the average relationship, and it's easy to get tangled up. You can get hurt, and you can hurt him, too."

"Florence Nigh- really? Where is that coming from?" Jane said defensively. "I don't get why you think I wasn't serious enough about him to want to be with him, even before all of this."

"I just never got that impression. I think in all the time between Casey's visits, you couldn't have mentioned his name more than a couple of times. If you loved him, I thought you'd have been talking about him all the time."

"What about _Ian_? He's supposed to be the big love of your life, and you never mentioned him before he came, or since he left," Jane challenged.

Maura tightened slightly.

"I... may have oversold Ian." She swallowed. "I always thought he _was_ the love of my life, and I didn't reexamine that belief until after he reminded me - again - that I'm important to him, but not _that_ important. As a matter of fact, I was just thinking that Casey reminds me a little of him."

"How?" she scowled.

"No matter how much he likes you, there's never any mistake that his own needs come first. Never quite lets you in all the way. Only seems to want you at his convenience. Keeps popping up to make sure you're there if and when he wants you, but still keeps you at arms length. You're better at being there than anybody I've ever known, Jane, and you deserve that in return. Ian did that to me too, and I allowed it because I believed he was _the one_. But _the one_ wouldn't do that to me. And yours wouldn't, to you. I'm afraid it's the same thing, and I just wish I could save you the heartache."

"You don't know..." Jane rose, stared for a moment, and grabbed her coat off the back of the chair. "Casey's _not_ Ian, and I'm not you."

* * *

Jane yanked her car door shut and just sat for a minute, biting her lip.

She dialed Casey and mentally rehearsed her greeting, her performance growing flatter with each ring. "_Hi, you've reached-_" She hung up and jammed her phone back onto her belt, feeling her face start to burn a little with the threat of frustrated tears.

Smoothing her hair back in an attempt to calm down, she wondered why she was even surprised. He ignored every other call, never answered emails. Why couldn't he return one damn message?

"Fine. Fine, I'll come see you instead, how about that?" she muttered to her steering wheel, jabbing her key in the ignition and pulling away from the curb. "You don't wanna see me, try answering the damn phone, huh?"

What was the point of trying to keep her in the dark? She already knew what was going on. Why did he have to make it difficult? How did he manage to keep her just within his reach, but stay just out of hers? Always pushing her away, catching her at the last second to make sure she didn't drift fully out of reach, only to push her away again.

Oh. Like Maura said.

Ok, he did seem to keep popping up, but those times didn't all _count,_ he wasn't _trying_ to do this... right? What did he actually do?

_You're not some sniffling, irrational high school girl. You're a detective. Stick to evidence and facts. Think, now, lay out the facts. What has actually happened?_

The first time... she'd gone to confront him at work. That one was on her. But he pushed her away, told her he wasn't interested, fed her lies that hurt more than the truth ever would have. She understood _why_ later on, but still, that was cruel.

Then he came to see her at the Dirty Robber. That was because of the note Angela faked... that one wasn't on him. Or... well, maybe it kind of was. He did come, after all - if he was really going to stick to his story, he wouldn't have asked to meet with her. And what was his point in coming? To ask her for time. To put her on the back burner because he wasn't ready. Which, okay, she could kind of understand.

Then she ran into him at BPD. He was there to see Korsak, not her. But, c'mon, Casey wasn't stupid. There was no way that meeting was completely accidental. If he really didn't want to see her, he didn't have to meet with Korsak at the one place he was literally the most likely to run into her. So that one was on him, pretty much. And what did he say? _It's good to see you, now go away. _Plus he apparently asked all about her, and Korsak clearly wasn't a vault when it came to personal matters. Casey didn't build a respected military career by being careless - if he wanted a secret kept, it would stay kept, no sweat. He had fully intended for her to find out about the surgery. He could have just called her directly, but instead he arranged this weird, sneaky, roundabout way.

Then she found him sitting on her doorstep. That one was on him, obviously. He said he was there to explain, to apologize - wait, what _was_ his apology? But ultimately he was there to push her away, to say goodbye, but not without kissing her first. Not without making it clear that he did want her, and was just being noble. But really, if you go out of your way to make sure someone knows you're being noble, doesn't that kind of ruin it? Doesn't that make it sort of... _half_-noble, at best? The other half being sort of... self-martyrizing? Not that the sacrifice he was trying to make was easy - but she wished he'd either make it, or not.

Then she'd gone to his apartment - that one was on her. But she was there to talk him out of this stupid surgery - not even about their relationship, because he said goodbye the last time she saw him, even kind of told her to find someone else, and she was willing to go with it. And then the first thing he starts talking about is them making love and having children - what the hell? _He_ turned it back into a relationship thing.

Then finally she turned around and he was there in uniform, in the middle of all the commotion and the dust and the rubble. On one hand, it was nice that he cared to show up. But on the other hand, it was like he took every opportunity to reject her all over again. Maybe that was the point where she started to realize it was just as much obnoxious as noble. He could just as well have _called_ to ask if everyone was okay. If he took the trouble to come there in person, he should have been there for her and with her. His arms, his voice, his heart still worked, so why couldn't he use them? Why did he show up, just to leave? If he really just wanted to make sure her family was alright, he could have done so, and then left without her ever seeing him. It was like he came just to get credit, and then wanted her to watch him walk away one more time, just to show her that he could. Physically, or figuratively? Maybe both.

If he cared about her, why couldn't he be the one standing at her side, holding her hand when the dust cleared, instead of the one walking away? Thank God Maura had been there. She needed _someone_ to be. Of course, wasn't it Maura the last time, too? And the time before that.

When he rejected her that first night, Maura was waiting outside to take her arm and drive her home and refill her wine glass a hundred times. When he hadn't shown for the reunion, Maura went with her instead. At work, at the Robber, at her apartment, Maura seemed to walk in every time Casey walked out. Maura showed up to pick up the pieces. Maura waited on her doorstep. Maura, willing to listen after every single time. Wait, even all the way back at the banquet, the explosion - she'd been with Casey when it happened, but when she looked up, the shoulder she was leaning on had been Maura's. What the hell. How did those two seem to switch out every time? Always Casey for something bad, and then Maura to make it better? Even this morning, Maura had just been trying to make it better.

She rolled her eyes.

_Jane Rizzoli, you are a genuine, certified asshole._

By the time she parked in front of Casey's building, the purpose of her visit had changed.

How could Casey be 'the one' when she knew of someone else, just a friend even, who was already closer to her idea of whatever 'the one' was? He couldn't, that's how. And, considering the gigantic risk he was about to take, she should probably tell him that.

She pulled out her phone again to give him another chance to avoid talking face to face - he didn't like her showing up unannounced. Her thumb hovered over the call button. Who was she kidding? He'd never answer. He'd had nothing but chances.

She scrolled further down her contacts and made a call that picked up in two rings.

"Yes?"

Jane winced a little, knowing she'd earned the slightly aloof tone. It took her a second to speak.

"Maura, I'm sorry," she said, eyes still closed.

Two more seconds passed that seemed like years.

"It's okay."

Silence. Not awkward silence - just that the purpose of the call had been taken care of so quickly, and she had nothing else to say.

"Are you going to see Casey now?"

"Yeah."

She could hear Maura breathe in the pause.

"Give him my best wishes. I'll be home if you want to talk."

A faint smile softened Jane's mouth.

"Thank you," she said gratefully.

* * *

The door opened only a crack, only wide enough to show a face just as dour as she expected.

"Jane," Casey said, tiredly. "We cannot keep having this conversation. My mind is made up."

"I know. I'm not gonna try to talk you out of it. This is the last time I'll show up here, I swear. I just gotta talk to you for a minute."

Heaving a reluctant sigh, he swung the door open.

"Thanks." She stepped past him into the apartment.

"Something to drink?"

"Uh, no, no thanks. Look, Casey, I'm not here about the surgery. I'm here about us."

"There is no 'us'. I'm not there yet."

"Yeah, well, that's what I've been thinking about... I don't know if there can be an 'us'."

Casey stared at her for a long time, then looked away with an agitated chuckle.

"What?"

"Did it finally sink in?" He asked. "What I told you, last time you were here?"

"Come on, you know that's not it."

"What else would it be? I wanted to stay away from you, but you pushed, so I went against my better judgment and opened that up to you. And now, by total coincidence, you've had some epiphany that we can't be together? This is what I wanted to avoid all along."

"You think it was a surprise when you told me that yesterday? That goes with the territory, I knew about that all along, and it wasn't gonna scare me off. Give me a _little_ credit, will you?"

"Well, you'll have to pardon me if I'm having a little trouble believing that truly has nothing at all to do with it," he said, dropping down onto his couch and leaning his crutches aside. "But I don't blame you. I can understand you not wanting to be with someone who can't... satisfy-"

"Stop, stop," she frowned. "Seriously, that's not what this is about. Look, sex is not the end-all be-all, okay, you can live without it. I really am sorry, but that's reality. And if you can't live with the prospect of a relationship with me without... I mean, I do have other stuff to offer, y'know? And so do you. You don't want me now because it wouldn't be _romantic_, well maybe you're never going to have your idea of romance, with anyone, but that isn't the most important thing anyway. It's, y'know, just trusting somebody, sharing stuff, the good and the bad, just _being there -_ that's what's important, that's what everybody really needs, and you can still have that, that's what you could have still wanted with me, but you don't. Look, I need you to know this is _not_ because of your injury. I would never leave somebody over that. It's just... the more I think about it, the more I see we're just not right for each other. Just, the kind of people we are."

He only stared back.

"And yeah, I do know how much of an ass I look like for doing this right now," she added. "Trust me I'm not enjoying it, but I had to take the chance in case it makes you reconsider gambling away your life."

"I thought you weren't here to talk me out of the surgery."

"I'm not. I just figured I owed it to you to tell you while you still have time to take it into consideration - cause I get the idea you're counting on me being there if it's a success. Aren't you?"

Casey stared at his knees, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

"Can you blame me for wanting something to hope for?" He asked quietly. "You kept me going through the tour. Maybe I haven't given a whole lot of thought to how realistic it is, but the thought of you... it's been helping me to get through this. It's been something to work toward. Maybe I didn't want to think too much about it."

She sighed pityingly.

"I'm sorry. But wouldn't we both be sorrier if I let you go through this with _false_ hope?"

He rubbed his face.

"This is why I wished you hadn't said that you fell in love with me."

Jane's stomach twisted a little. She would now agree that she'd been a little hasty in saying that.

"I... we _did _share something special while you were away. It meant a lot to me, the way we talked, it always will. It did make me love you. I guess cause I've known you so long, I wanted to believe it meant I loved you _that_ way... but anyway, this doesn't mean I don't want to be in your life at all anymore. I do."

"I never wanted to lie to you in the first place, you know," he said after a long silence. "It wasn't something I planned, none of this is. You found me here in town by accident, remember? I didn't intend to seek you out until after I had been successfully rehabilitated. I wasn't going to have to have this conversation with you. None of this was supposed to happen."

"Well... it did. Life happens that way. And it's a good thing, because what if your surgery _wasn't_ successful? Was I supposed to think you were still in Afghanistan forever? Were you gonna call me up someday and say 'Hey, how bout those Red Sox, oh by the way, just thought I'd mention I've been back home paralyzed for X years'? Did you think about me finding your name in the obituaries one day and never knowing what the hell happened?" She asked. "I _care_ about you. Even if we weren't in a relationship yet, I've still cared about you as a friend, as a _person_, and you haven't even given me that."

"I _do_ care for you, Jane. That's why I didn't intend to pursue you if the surgery were unsuccessful. I've seen what it does to relationships, even friendships. I wouldn't try to burden you with a quadriplegic."

"That's... see, that's just why," she frowned. "Casey, if you really care about somebody, you care no matter if they're sick, or hurt, or paralyzed, or a friggin' brain in a jar, and if you didn't think I was capable of that in the first place, then it was never going to work anyway. I mean, what _if_ the surgery's a success - say you're totally fine, and we're together, we're _married_ and way down the line - I have a dangerous job. Every day I head out my door, I could get killed, _I_ could get paralyzed, I could lose my mind. Is this how you'd feel if something happened to me? I'd be nothing but a burden? I need to be with somebody who I'm sure is going to be there for me no matter what happens."

"Of course I would be there if we were married, Jane, but we're not. We've not even been on a date. We were at the very, very beginning of a relationship, _if_ that - you can't expect the same things from me _now_, as if we'd already been together for years. I was trying to protect you from the... the _ugliness_ of all this, keep you away until I was normal again, so that maybe we could have a decent chance later on, so we could have that kind of relationship you're talking about."

"But Casey, I need somebody who's going to let me in, even from the beginning, and let me be there for them even when it sucks. I don't want lies and brave faces, even if it's to protect me. I'm not good at being protected. I'm more protect_ive_. But out there, there's somebody who _would_ rather have protection and a brave face when things get tough, and there's nothing wrong with that - it's just not me. I'm loud, I'm stubborn, I boss, I butt in, I control. That's who I am. I've been trying not to act that way lately because it's not what you want... but I can't change the way I am. And neither can you. And we shouldn't try - there's nothing wrong with the way we are... our ways just don't work together."

"Jane, there isn't..." his brow relaxed as he seemed to let go of whatever he was about to say. "Your mind is made up."

She nodded.

"Then there's nothing else to say, is there."

"I'd still listen..."

"To what end," he shrugged almost casually.

She hadn't expected him to yell or cry or beg, but this total calm was not how she saw the conversation ending, either. He was just putting up a wall - and she'd been on the other side of that kind of wall enough times to know she should leave it alone now. Even reassurances would only make him keep laying more bricks.

"You're right," his mouth curled a little. "We are both pretty stubborn, aren't we."

Jane searched his eyes.

"You're still gonna go through with it."

"Yes." His face was flat. "You were a reason, but not my only reason. I still have the remainder of my life to consider."

"Alright," she relented, disappointed once more, but she'd done all she could do. "Listen, if there's anything I can do, you can still call me. Okay? You're still my friend, I'll still be there for you. Even if you just want to talk about nothing."

"I didn't even want you there before." He thought better of sounding so harsh, knowing these were their last moments, and softened his face. "I'm not bitter. I just want to do this as much on my own as possible. If I had my way, I'd do it without seeing anyone I know, at all. Even if I turn out good as new, it has to change their idea of me. I didn't want you to see me like this... broken."

"It doesn't change... any..." Jane's face slowly blanked as she stared back at Casey silently for a moment. As she searched her mind for the right words that seemed to fit here, she found herself rubbing the scar on her hand. "You're not broken... nothing can break you unless you let it... it's a choice."

He gave little reaction to work with, wanting the conversation to be over.

"I'll stay away. But please promise you won't leave me wondering what happened, can you just... send me an email, or smoke signals, _something_, okay?"

"I will."

Jane touched his stubbly cheek to make him look her in the eye. "If you call on me, I will care, and I will come."

She put her arms around him, hugged him until he realized he'd better hug back, because many signs pointed to it being their last. Even then, he was the one who separated them, giving her one last small push away.

"Goodbye, Jane."

From the way he looked her in the eye, she knew he would never ask her for anything. She wondered if she would regret not having kissed his cheek a second ago, like she had intended. Rising to her feet, she tried to force away the sorrow she knew was etched on her face, knowing he'd rather see her smile.

"Good luck, Casey."

He wasn't getting up to follow her.

She paused at his doorway. "Oh, Maura sends her best, too."

"Kind of her..." he snorted in what almost looked like genuine amusement.

"What's funny?" she paused again.

"I rather have her to thank for all this, don't I."

"Huh?"

"If she hadn't happened on my office that day... diagnosed me at a glance... I might have had my way."

"I hope you don't resent her. She was just..."

He shook his head.

"She was just looking out for you."

"Yeah." Jane smiled. "She does that."

* * *

Maura opened the door, already knowing that moping and tears were almost certainly in her immediately future. Honestly, she didn't relish listening to Jane laying out the same points all over again, pining over someone who didn't deserve her. But it was a job that came with having a best friend, and one she was glad to do.

Jane trudged inside until her hip bumped the kitchen island and she stuck there.

Maura just waited, knowing she wouldn't have to prompt her to start talking about Casey.

"Smells good in here."

"...I made cookies," Maura answered, slightly thrown. She picked up a plate from the counter and moved it within Jane's reach on the island. The cookies were stacked in a pyramid so neat and symmetrical, it looked like something out of a housekeeping magazine. "I figured you'd want something unhealthy to eat."

"Oatmeal and raisins are unhealthy?"

"Well, reasonably unhealthy. And no, those are chocolate chips."

She looked closer.

"You don't like chocolate chips."

"You don't like raisins."

Jane's mouth opened as she looked back at her, but nothing came out.

"What happened over there?" Maura asked.

"We said goodbye."

Maura gave a tilt of her head, balancing sympathy with skepticism.

"He and I can't be together." She took a deep breath in response to Maura's questioning eyes. "You were right. After I left here, I called and he ignored me, _again_, and so I barged in there and..." she shook her head a little, shaking away the topic. "But anyway. I didn't come here to talk about Casey. I came to apologize."

"I already told you, it's okay."

"No... I was a jerk." Jane sighed, and smiled a little uncomfortably. "Just... I've been kinda wrapped up in my own stuff, and... I know it's always annoying when your friend gets a boyfriend, it's like a little slice of high school all over again."

Maura narrowed her eyes jokingly. She cancelled a teasing reply, considering that her own more frequent attempts at romance had probably made Jane the annoyed party enough times to justify that comment.

"I was all bitchy earlier when you were just trying to look out for me, and then what do you do? You invite me back over so I can babble about my problems some more, and make me friggin' _cookies_...? Really?" she said, picking one up, waving it, and taking a bite. "_Good_ cookies? I'm not... I'm not very good at saying... y'know, nice stuff or whatever, I mean, I always mean to, but I don't know how to say it and then I end up not saying anything but... you're a really good friend, okay, I mean, I just want to make sure you know it... means a lot, how you're always there. I couldn't get through all my crap without you, so, y'know... thanks."

Maura smiled sincerely, and before Jane knew it, she was being squeezed around the middle.

"Oof- I, okay." she smiled too, hugging back for a second before her brows knitted again, sensing something brushing her pant cuff. "What are you d-" she looked down to find Bass shuffling past. "Oh, it's you. Hey, you like cookies?" She asked, already knowing Maura would never allow it.

"No! Chocolate is toxic to tortoises."

"Bummer."

"You could feed him a strawberry," Maura offered, fetching a carton from the refrigerator before she could reply.

Jane got down on the floor to hold one out to him. He seemed wholly disinterested.

"Does... does he see it?"

Suddenly he snapped his beak around it with a quicker motion than she expected.

"_OHjeezwhatisyourmouth-_" Jane recoiled, banging her elbow on the island, letting him have the whole thing. It dropped on the floor.

"He won't bite you. Intentionally. Go ahead, try it again, just keep your fingers out of the way."

"You don't say?"

Maura joined her on the floor, sitting cross legged below the kitchen sink across from her, smiling broadly.

"What?" Jane asked, only glancing at her for a second, more concerned with keeping her fingers intact as she offered Bass the strawberry again.

"I'm so happy to see you two bonding," she clapped excitedly.

Jane couldn't help a small smile at her enthusiasm.

"Oh... yes. We'll be inseparable from now on." Feeling obligated under Maura's gaze, she reached out to give Bass a reluctant pat on the shell as he chewed. Maura seemed delighted.

"So... how long did it take you to change your mind about Ian?" Jane asked, shoving the rest of her cookie in her mouth and wiping her hands together.

"The next day," Maura answered after a moment. "After you sat up with me half the night handing me tissues... well, I figured if I had a _friend_ who was closer to what I wanted than the supposed love of my life, he must not be it."

"Exactly!" Jane said, then wondered why she'd never mentioned this. "Wow, firing the love of your life is pretty big stuff. You decided that without even saying anything?"

"Ian... came from a time in my life when I didn't really have anyone to confide in. It almost feels strange _to_ talk about him... he's just one of those things I got used to dealing with alone."

"Well, you're not now, you know?" Jane said, tapping Maura with her shoe. "You can, if you feel like it. I probably make it kinda hard to tell sometimes, but I do care."

Maura smiled appreciatively. "I'm okay with it. I'm not wishing for a life with him anymore, but he'll always be special to me. And Casey's always going to be special to you."

Jane nodded.

"Is he still going through with the surgery?"

"Sounds like. I told him I'd still help, _if _he asks me. We don't have to be in a relationship for that. I mean if somebody I... if _you_ got hurt, I wouldn't go 'Good luck with that, see ya when you're all better!' right?"

Maura slid her legs flat on the floor in front of her.

"No."

Sharing her small smile, Jane reached down near the hem of Maura's capris to trace one faint, silvery scar.


End file.
